Ramblings from a 40 something year old woman

I woke up this morning feeling rather determined.  I wake up motivated most mornings but today something different stirred up inside of me.  You see, I’ve been slowing growing (and not because I’m pregnant 😊).  Let’s be honest, I’m growing because I can’t stop eating. 

I’ve blamed
Covid-19, because, haven’t we all.  I
mean all that quarantine and spare time on our hands, what’s a girl left to do but
cook and eat!

I’ve blamed
my husband for bringing home chocolate. 
I mean it is his fault I’m eating chocolate every night.

I’ve blamed
winter because it’s simply too cold to get up and go walking or go to the gym.

I’ve blamed
my business because my passion is food, right? 
So, I’m constantly recipe creating, cooking and obviously eating all my creations.

And then I
tried to convince myself that the scales were wrong, perhaps my clothes had
shrunk. I questioned was my size so important after all.  And then I’d tell myself, “Well, you are in
your mid- 40s, this is a natural progression to middle age, right?”

laughing as I type this! 

Five months
of this going on in my head and I’m exhausted.

So today I
made a choice.  Either embrace the changing
shape and size of Fiona (believe me that was definitely an option) or make a change
that was important to me. No more noise inside my head.  No more questions and negative self talk.

And this is
the reason that today I woke up determined.

to do what is right of me.

to focus on my health and wellness.

determined to stop making excuses for what I know to be the truth.

I know I’m
not the first one to struggle with weight and body image.  Our body is an incredible temple and we
really need to be kinder and gentler with ourselves. Well, I know I do.

So today, I
am making changes.

Not because
I want to see a magic number on the scales. 

Not because
I worry about what people will think about my body and size. 

Today I
choose to eat less and move more. 

Today I
choose to get fit and strong.

Today I
choose to feel more confident in my own skin.

Today I
choose energy over exhaustion.

Today I choose love.

I know it won’t be easy. I know I’ll want that chocolate at the end of a busy day, and that delicious, big bowl of pasta for dinner.

But I know that if I put me first, I’ll always choose what’s right for me.